Headlines | Winter Fuel Crisis Expected in UK

UK | Culture | Globalisation | 28 October 2021

New solution for the impending winter fuel crisis.

Boris Johnson has advised UK citizens to follow the Ukraine's lead and start collecting dung to prepare for the winter fuel shortage. For those unfamiliar with dung, it's like a smelllier form of peat and just needs to be collected and dried to be used as fuel.

FNN has noticed that dung-related activities are on the increase:

  • Londoners are being offered coach trips to pick-your-own (PYO) dung collection farms
  • Amazon is reporting an uptick in the sale of seaside buckets and spades, ideal for dung collection
  • Fragrance companies are releasing new collections of 'designer dung' infused with exotic perfumes
  • #doitwithdung is trending on twitter as are dung preparation videos on youtube
  • the price of silage has rocketed on the commodities market
  • Adele has released a new song called 'Rolling in the Dung' featuring DJ Peckham Skidmaster

Boris recommends that people get the word out about dung before the gas and electricity is turned off for christmas with his new catchy phrase borrowed from the famous Adge Cutler and the Wurzels song: Don't tell I, tell 'ee!

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