Headlines | Asteroid to be tethered to moon

USA | Business | Elon Musk | 14 August 2021

Latest proposal to exploit the precious metals of 16 Psyche.

Elon "Tex" Musk has proposed that the 16 Psyche "gold-mine" asteroid is lassooed in space and then tethered to the moon in order that chunks can be broken off and shipped to Earth for processing.

The asteroid is reportedly worth £8K quadrillion (a gazillion to you and me) which would easily resolve the USA's $28 trillion debt crisis and reduce the dependence on precious metals from China.

16 Psyche is set to trigger a new kind of space race, a modern-day gold-rush to latch onto the asteroid to secure assets in space that can enrich the owners on Earth. 

A spokesperson for "Tex" told FNN: 

We are developing a new rocket called "Champion The Wonder Horse" that will be equipped with a special lassooing device developed by one of our laboratories in Wyoming. Then once the asteroid is captured our Boring Company will begin mining the the precious metals on the asteroid. Now do you dummies get why we are investing in space?

The Mysterons commented:

You earthlings will never get hold of the asteroid as we will pull it into orbit around Mars as it passes by. Ooh hahaha! This is the voice of the Mysterons!

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