Headlines | Elon Musk to Buy Africa

USA | Business | Elon Musk | 28 October 2021

Tesla valuation means that Musk may make a bid for Africa.


As the market valuation of Tesla went through $1 trillion there are rumours that Elon Musk is negotiating to buy Africa.

If this is true, then the plan is expected to be to carpet the continent with solar panels connected to giant batteries that will be used to power other Musk ventures on earth and in space.

Everyone in Africa will be offered a job servicing the panels and batteries as well as the valuable perk of free electricity for life and shared use of a Tesla driverless vehicle in order to fetch water from a new network of Tesla 'watering holes' created by Musk's Boring Company.

The solar panels will be engineered so that they have a reversible surface designed both to absorb and reflect the sun. When in reflection mode the panels can direct powerful beams into space that could be used to destroy satellites or incoming hypersonic missiles. A bit like when you use a magnifying glass to fry a fly.

A spokesperson for Mr Musk denied these rumours but shares in African companies collapsed on the news, so now Africa is worth even less than it was before the rumours spread. Jeff Bezos is also thought to be considering a counter-bid with plans to turn Africa into a giant Amazon warehouse and worldwide drone-dispatch centre.


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