Headlines | New HGV driving initiative

UK | Business | Globalisation | 28 October 2021

Using the Army is not enough to fill shortage of UK truck drivers.

Although the UK government has drafted in the Army to help provide truck drivers fill the shortage, it accepts that this will not be enough to supply the British public with its christmas goodies.

Therefore the Department of Trade and Industry is working with London Zoo to initiate a program to train chimpanzees to drive vehicles on routes that do not require complex navigation.

The cabs of trucks driven by the chimpanzees will be fitted with special equipment to administer slight electric shocks when they deviate from the route and to provide a Fairtrade banana when they reach their destination.

A spokesperson for the HGV Drivers Association told FNN:

We resent the implication that our members can be replaced by chimpanzees so we are all going on strike. Anyway there won't be any bananas to give them as we have banned the transportation of bananas by our members.

We asked Toto the chimp for a comment but he just chucked some faeces our way and then punched our correspondent.

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